Two Guys One Elevator
by XX-Ayomu-XX
Summary: Kanda scoffed and grabbed a fistful of his cherry red hair. Lavi gasped suddenly when the pony tailed man pulled his head back harshly to look at the floor numbers above them. "You call this fucking around?" Kanda hissed watching the numerous floor numbers light up in a random seizure like fashion. "No," Lavi breathed, wide eyed. "I call this the poltergeist." A/N: Forgive me. Kavi
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: I'm sorry._**

* * *

 _ **Monday 8:15 AM**_

Inside the grande building of the Bookman Enterprise, a young blue haired man was currently standing alongside his childhood friend, narrowly examining the time on his watch. The front of his hair, his bangs more precisely was gelled back, and his hair was tied in a low ponytail that descended over his right shoulder. He was dressed in a simple professional getup, all thanks to the women standing right by him.

And at the moment, the very same young woman was giving him an earful of a lecture.

"Kanda remember that when you shake the poor man's hand, be careful not to break it. Be _gentle_." She warned softly, as she did the finishing touches on his ponytail.

Kanda snorted.

"Tch, whatever."

Lenalee's sharp glance immediately shut him right up.

Her pink lips were curving downwards at this point. "And don't glare at him, he's just doing his job. So the least you can do is be friendly and not give him a hard time." She spoke, her fingers diligently patting down his shoulders. Just when the long haired man was about to open his mouth to retort, he couldn't help but feel a pair of eyes burning themselves into the back of his head.

On normal days, what he would have usually done was ignore whoever it was and just continue about his day. But, there was something particular about this fucked up day that kept _biting him in the ass_.

Whoever the hell thought they could just stare at him like creeps was gonna get it coming.

Kanda slowly turned his head to his right. Two men, one tall, one short as a fucking ten year old, were standing by the elevator and openly staring at him to an extent that it made his spine shiver. Kanda's lip curled up in a threatening snarl and Lenalee looked up at her friend with innocent confusion.

 _What the fuck are they looking at?_

The pipsqueak, which he had realized had had as white as snow, was simply looking at the two of them with complete curiosity. Well, it wasn't that hard to tell who his eyes kept drifting towards mostly. It pissed him off, but not to the point where he wanted to beat the living day lights out of him.

The tall red haired goofball, _however_ , was the one that ripped his temper lid off. Kanda unconsciously tensed up under his gaze uncomfortably when he noticed that the bastard's vibrant green eyes were eyeing him from top to bottom...like he was some sort of _eye candy_.

And once his green eyes stationed themselves on Kanda's face and the two made eye contact, he licked his lips in a hungry manner and smiled seductively at him.

It made his blood boil like crazy.

"Kanda! _Kanda_ , pay attention!" The feisty young woman snapped her fingers, instantly grabbing the long haired man's attention. Kanda growled in response, and he snapped his head back in her direction.

"What the hell do you want now, woman? I don't need you here following me like a damn dog." He snarled nastily at her. But the girl was not fazed by it at all. She simply fixed his collar, while taking the opportunity to pull his ear and whisper to him.

"Very funny Kanda, that's the best one you've cracked yet!" Kanda's face scrunched up in mild confusion before it fell tremendously once he felt her hands tighten into fists around his collar. "Don't you ever snarl at me like that _again_ , Honey. Next time, it might not only be your face that'll need fixing _okay_?"

Kanda raised an eyebrow at her. "I wonder if Komui's aware of how psychotic you've turned out to be..."

Lenalee cocked her head to the side.

"I wonder how long you'll last when I tell Nii-San you lied and took me to a _strip club_."

He scoffed at her.

"I wonder how you'll even live without your balls once I tell Nii-San that you made me _strip_ in front of a _crowd of_ _old slimy perverted geezers_." She said in a false innocent demeanor, cupping her cheek as if the thought made her nerves twist in worry.

Kanda glared at her. "You demon _bit-_."

The smile that danced on her pink lips seemed to signal that she adored the nickname.

"What will it be, _dear_?"

The Japanese man relaxed his face without a word.

When Lenalee spoke in such a sweet yet sickly tone, one knew better not to argue with her. Especially when you knew the girl for most of your life. Especially, when you knew her sister complex of a brother your whole life. The blue haired man crossed his arms across his chest, as his female friend did a quick sweep of his look with her cautious violet eyes.

His jaw clenched when he heard muffled laughter at his right. _She's making me look like a damn fool here._ He thought bitterly. Lenalee noticed how tense her friend looked, and she furrowed her eyebrows in concern.

"Kanda?" She blinked. _Did I go too far? Nah._

The eye catching man stood there, jaw clenched, and lower lips pointing outwards. Worried, Lenalee stepped in front of him, ignoring the clicking of her heels. "Kanda, please tell me how you're feeling?" Mood checks were always the best way to get him talking.

"I'm a second away from ditching this interview and snuffing those two giggling bastards over there." He muttered, cracking his knuckles in anger. Lenalee's violet eyes widened and soon as the did they relaxed. She swiftly grabbed her best friend's hands.

" _Kanda_. You're here to get a job, not go to jail."

The laughing only got louder.

Thankfully, this time she was able to hear the mocking laughter behind them. Lenalee peeked over his shoulder, to get a better glimpse at the laughing duo. She made eye contact with one of them, gasped, and suddenly erupted in a fit of giggles. Surprised, Kanda took a step back and looked at her like she was crazy.

"What the fuck's so funny?"

Lenalee wiped the tears from the corner of her eyes, with her finger. "N-Nothing. It's just that-" She sniffled and fanned her face with her hand. She wanted to laugh so bad, but she knew that Kanda was mad."You know what? Honey, you're gonna knock that interview right outta the park." She breathed. Kanda narrowed his eyes at the pink faced girl in suspicion.

"What. The. Fuck. Were. You. Laughing. At?"

Lenalee smiled innocently and opened her mouth for more. "Kanda, _babe_ , you are gonna knock that interview right in the dick," she spoke with enthusiasm, punching her fist into the air for emphasis. A loud snort from Kanda made her eyes widen. " _Not_ the interviewer, but the _Interview_!" She quickly said.

"You're annoying, woman." Kanda muttered curtly, turning on his heel. Lenalee frowned unhappily but followed him nonetheless.

"What, now I can't _laugh_?"

Kanda stopped right in front of the elevator and he glowered at the woman. "You're getting on my nerves, Lee." Lenalee sighed hopelessly.

"Could you not look like you're about to kill someone? For like _one_ day, Kanda."

"What's wrong with the way I look?" He asked boldly. Lenalee placed a hand on her hip and returned his glare confidently. She raised one finger and parted her glossed up pink lips.

Kanda popped both of his earbuds in.

 _And the bitching begins._

"Kanda, let's be honest. You're a freaking handsome guy-like smoking gorgeous. If you weren't like an dear older brother to me I would have totally been smitten by you." Her eyes became calculative as she transitioned into his flaws.

"But you have zero to no social skills whatsoever, girls can't decide whether to flirt or hide when they see you, and in every interview you've gone to so far you always get kicked out for either swearing or threatening to cut someone's balls off with that old sword that you carry around." She dropped her frown and sported a brilliant smile.

"Now, could you please smile and pretend that you care, Love?"

"No."

Just when Lenalee was about to raise her hand to put him in a check, a voice interrupted the two.

"Ah, are you two perhaps going up?" The white haired boy sweetly asked, as he and his companion casually walked up to the two. Lenalee's cheeks were burning with embarrassment when she realized that the boy's bright gray eyes were curiously staring at her raised hand and she quickly dropped it.

"Yes. Actually my friend is."

"Brill." The white haired fella pressed the up arrow and smiled at the two. "What a coincidence, my friend is too." On que, the red haired pirate joined the three at the elevator. Lenalee smiled politely and secretly nudged Kanda in the side.

" _Say hi._ " She whispered from the corner of her mouth, forcefully pulling him into the conversation. The blue haired man looked at her as if she were crazy, and was about to reject the idea, when the red haired man interrupted them with his smooth voice.

"You two sure are beautiful. What are ya models?" He mused, with that...ugh...disgusting look on his face. Kanda reeled back and took a step closer to Lenalee. His eyes...they sent weird chills down his spine. Lenalee forced a giggle and slapped Kanda on the shoulder.

 ** _Hard_**.

"Oh _please_. You're too kind."

The red head smiled charmingly, and lazily swung his arm over his friend's shoulders. "Oh no no _no_. To be able to catch my dear friend's, Allen's eye so effortlessly-now you _must_ be something. Maybe now would be a good time to get comfortable with one another, _hmm_?" He commented slickly, winking at the now surprised green haired girl.

Kanda looked at the two squarely-Lenalee was one for compliments, but there was no way, no way that she was that gulli-

 _Wait a-_

What was that? Was that a trace of a shameless blush that dusted her white cheeks?

 _What is this...fuckery?_

Kanda couldn't help but stare at his best friend dumbly as she blushed shyly like a lamb. "Oh dear..." Allen, the white haired midget of the two broke out in a great blush and slapped the red head over the head to hide it. Which didn't work out quite well...

Obviously embarrassed to no end, the boy proceeded in punching him in the arm. "LAVI! That was uncalled for!" He shrilled. Smiling sheepishly, Lavi apologized profusely before pointing at the staring duo. Realizing what was more important, he whirled around and began to apologize to Lenalee tenderly.

"I am terribly sorry Miss...um-"

"Lee." Kanda grunted. Allen sensed the annoyance in the older boy's voice, before deciding to dismiss it politely.

"I apologize sincerely for this _idio_ -my _friend_ , Lavi's behavior, Miss Lee."

Lenalee smiled bashfully and waved the poor boy off. "It's alright. I get that a lot." She reassured him. The sound of a quick and high pitched ding brought their attention to the now empty and small elevator that had it's doors wide open for them.

Lenalee placed a small hand on the scowling boy's tense shoulder and gave it a gentle yet encouraging squeeze. She pushed his navy blue bangs back with dainty fingers and smiled warmly. "You're gonna do great Kanda, I've got a special feeling about this one." She chirped, capturing the attention of the other two males beside them.

"But before you go in..." her violet eyes darkened as her hands reached for the sword hoisted on his hip, "I'm taking away _that_."

Kanda raised an eyebrow, visually upset. "Why?"

Cradling the weapon in her arms, Lenalee smiled reassuringly. "Safety reasons." Kanda scowled at her reasoning.

"Whatever."

It wasn't like Kanda didn't walk around with _two_ swords any. Jokes on her.

"Are you...perhaps here for that one interview?" The red head asked, slowly. Kanda stared at him for a few seconds before gracefully walking past him and entering the elevator without a further word.

Although looking a little dejected, the red haired man cheerfully followed his lead into the elevator and waved at his smiling friend and of course, Lenalee who was busy trying to catch her friend's attention.

Before the doors could close, Lenalee took a step forward and exclaimed something much to Kanda's embarrassment.

"You can do it, Babe!"

Kanda, who was scarlet with embarrassment, furiously pressed the close doors button. _Dammit, will this thing close before this witch embarrasses me even more?!_ Lavi chuckled to himself at their relationship.

He hadn't really seen a love hate relationship quite as weird as theirs. Even though the sharp mouthed man looked like he couldn't stand his cheerful friend, he could tell that they obviously cared a lot for each other. Were they siblings?

 _Oh!_ Lavi remembered an essential detail. _He still didn't answer my question!_

Kanda noticed from the corner of his right eye a sudden movement and he glanced at the squirming red haired pirate in suspicion. Lavi blinked and opened his mouth. Which was the last thing that Kanda ever wanted him to do.

"Hey!" He called casually. "You still didn't answer my question, ya know?" A lopsided grin blessed his lips when he was finally given with the long haired man's attention. The next few words on the other hand threw the poor man off his horse when he heard them.

"What's a beautiful lady like you doing in a place like this?"

A small angry stormed writhed in Kanda's abnormally cold eyes.

Lavi, who was too deep into his fantasy world, didn't notice this of course. Nor did he notice the spark between Kanda's teeth when he grinded them together. Nor did he notice his hand that was slowly rising, itching to do nothing more than clamped themselves around his happily breathing neck.

Oh but Kanda didn't do any of that.

Not with the image of Lenalee and Komui smiling expectantly at him. Smiling so warmly yet threateningly at him.

He simply plugged his ear buds in. He sighed in content and raised the volume, the red head's following words falling upon death ears. No way in hell would he let a nerveless bastard risk his chances of finally getting a damn job.

After his third attempt at trying to catch the boy's attention, Lavi finally stopped. Instead, he took the time to stand back and admire the man's beautiful features as the doors finally closed on them.

Leaving them them together.

One guy...

-and one deviously handsome guy-himself of course.

In an elevator...

- _alone_.

A thoughtful sigh escaped Lavi's lips and he smirked mischievously.

 _Just like two guys and one elevator._

* * *

 **A/N: One chapter in and I already feel like I've sinned.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Back again with another segment of Kanda's anger issues and Lavi's harassment tenancies! Yay!**

 **Lavi didn't die yet, I pawmise :-[**

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Most people that Kanda knew were afraid of him.

Most got petrified the moment his eyes set on them.

Some of his classmates even admitted to begging their Professors to change their seats so that they wouldn't carry the burden of being Kanda's little glare toy for a span of two hours.

And don't even get him _started_ about his non-existent neighbors. Those guys always had their curtains pulled whenever he was at home-he kind of forgot that he had them anyway.

Even though he wasn't quite loved by most, Kanda was grateful to know that he had their respect. That was all he needed anyway-silence and the feeling of being superior to the weak-in his words, _respect_.

Yet, this red headed, Captain Crunch wannabe, manner-less, shameless, Imbecile-

 _ **Monday, September 19th, 8:38 AM.**_

 _Sigh_.

 _Relax Kanda,_ he could hear Lenalee's sweet voice attempting to soothe him from the dark corners of his mind don'taskwhy. _Don't let him get to you, you're a respectable man, aren't you?_ He imagined her giving him an earful of sass and sneering at his out of character behavior.

If she were actually there, he'd simply ignore her.

But, this time, he was actually a little thankful for her continuous babbling.

Comforted even.

While Kanda was having a peaceful conversation between himself and his senses, with one hand buried deep within the inside of his coat and another fussing with the volume control on his mp3 player-Lavi was up to _no_ good.

 _Now, how do I get this guy to notice me?_

He played with the small hairs on the back of his neck, and stared thoughtfully at the scowling man. Maybe if he kept staring at him, he would eventually feel his eyes burning into his broad back and turn around? Or maybe he should just continue to flirt shamelessly and hopefully it would result in a single squirm or two...

An amused smirk danced across Lavi's lips. Or perhaps he should sign his will and do both?

Kanda's dark eyes stared the bottoms on the elevator down mercilessly. The damn thing was so absurd-there was no way that they were still on the 1st floor. They had just left the lobby and were obviously moving so _how_ -

It was at the given moment that Kanda Yuu had noticed a certain red head training his slightly slit forest green eyes on him with a seductive look swirling within them. He shuddered involuntarily and immediately went back to fussing with the volume on his music player.

 _Don't let him get to you, Kanda. Prove to them that you can get this job! Don't let them win._

After a few seconds of breathing in and out, as well as stroking Mugen's hilt, the Japanese man was able to calm down a little bit.

"Ya know, yer pretty damn hot ma'm." Came Lavi's low voice.

Kanda stiffened quite visually at the name. " _Ma'm_...?"

Lavi leaned against the wall and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. "Has no one ever told ya that? It'd be a damn shame for such beauty to go unnoticed, gorgeous." He said smoothly, adding a wink in for good measure.

Kanda's mouth twitched.

 _...Hah?_

And like just that, Kanda Yuu's efforts at staying calm came crashing down on him. His neck squeaked like squeaky tires as he slowly turned his head to the back of the elevator. The red haired man was still leaning against the walls, eyeing Kanda provocatively.

"Ya know," Lavi started again, playing with his checkered tie, "I've never met a girl with so much spunk like you. The way you walk, the way you speak, way you put your friend in check, god-" His green eyes spark with something that Kanda could not read, "it was so _hot_."

Kanda's eyes were wider than humanly possible at this point and his mind was a blank slate. He could barely hear Lenalee's bell like voice reasoning with him anymore-it sounded so faded, so gone. His fingers grasped the hilt of mugen tighter and veins pop out from under the skin of his hands.

But, as soon as he did this, he relaxed and took a breather. He had better things to do than become a murder. Especially the murderer of a god forsaken idiot like him.

Kanda simply returned his attention towards the floor buttons-which the 1st floor was still illuminated. He furrowed his eyebrows at the phenomenon. He pressed the fourth level button once, and then pressed it multiple times. It still didn't light up. _What the hell is going on here?_

"Hey." Lavi called, softly from where he stood. Kanda's head bobbed upwards at the sound of his voice. He had almost forgotten about the asshole-almost. Not wanting to be bothered by his idiotic ramblings, Kanda returned his attention to the doors of the elevator.

Lavi didn't let Kanda's cold nature discourage him, no oh no, in fact, Lavi was happy to play his game. Lavi loved games-especially the hard to get one. He shoved his hands in his pockets and directed his half-lidded gaze at the angry man. He was so going to win.

The red head casually walked sultrily over to the stiff blue haired man, and touched the name tag on his chest with his slim fingers. "So, what's your name..." He expertly ignored the towering man's glare as he squinted his forest green eyes to get a better look at the name written on it.

"The hell are you-"

"Don't worry about it toots. It's pretty sloppy, but I can read it." Lavi released the tag and smirked. _Kanda Yuu..._ He looked up into Kanda's steel cold blue eyes, slowly. " _Yuu,_ huh? So sexy. To think that this is my first time hearing such a name. Could you believe it, _Yuu_?" He whispered hotly, inwardly waiting for his reaction in amusement.

Kanda was, after all, like a pot of hot oil that could never cool down.

" _WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY_?!"

The red head's eyes almost bulged out of their sockets when he found himself pushed up against the wall. Kanda held him up by the scruff of his collar, seething like a mad man, his face completely hidden by the shadows. The victim, held his hands up in defense, his face paling dramatically.

Lavi definitely miscalculated-he had stirred up the soul of a madman for goodness sake! _What have I done?_ He reprimanded himself, sweating thousands of bullets.

Kanda's face reared closer to his and he tightened his hold on the poor man's collar.

"What. The. _Fuck_. Did. You. Just. _**Say**_?"

"That's your name isn't it? Yuu-Chan?" The redhead batted an eyelash innocently. "Never heard of it, but sounds pretty darn hot for a chick like you." He complimented dumbly. Kanda pupils shrank and his lip curled up in a snarl.

"I have a _dick_ between my legs, you ass."

Lavi laughed loudly at his factual statement, then shot him an amused look.

"Hey, I don't judge." Lavi paled again right when the words left his mouth. _Crap! I did it again..._

A ball of disgust had lodged itself in the very pits of Kanda's gut. This red head, Captain Crunch wannabe, micro sized penis wannabe just didn't know when to stop did he?

This was also the moment when his hand reached for Mugen's hilt; his boiling anger threatening to rear it's ugly head.

"Are you confused or just plain retarded? I'M A FUCKING _GUY_!"

And at that exact moment, the elevator halted to an immediate stop, shocking both men.

Kanda's cold blue eyes met Lavi's confused green ones for a split second and before either of them could get a word out, the elevator shook _violently_. Kanda's released his iron grip on the other man's collar as they both were yanked back, harshly against the elevator walls.

 _What the literal hell-_

Kanda opened his eyes to the sound of Lavi's pained moans. Him, however, already used to the feeling of pain, simply pried himself off of the walls.

"O-Oi, do you see that Yuu?"

"See _what_ , and _don't_ call me that." Kanda groaned in irritation and raised his eyes just in time to see the lights above their heads die out. _Again, what the literal hell is all this?_ He thought to himself, narrowing his eyes while the red head's jaw suddenly slackened.

"Why're the lights dyin', Yuu?"

"How the fuck should I know?" A tick mark appeared on the side of his face and he scowled. "Say my name one more damn time, you fucking pirate." Lavi sighed at his name calling and shied away from him a little bit.

"That's verbal abuse, Yuu." He whined.

The lights returned to normal and the elevator stopped it's swaying. Both men sighed and got up to their feet, brushing themselves off. The red head bounced over to the door to get a look at which floor they were on.

"Gah, none of these are lit up." Kanda looked over his shoulder and grunted unhappily. He knew where this was going. And what a pleasant way to start his damn day. _Be optimistic_ , he could hear Lenalee say. Kanda sucked his teeth, _easy for you to say you psychotic demon._

"We're _stuck_." He muttered, distastefully. "Great. The damn elevator's stuck."

Lavi brushed his words off with a light chuckle. "Oh come on, that's _impossible_. I'm pretty sure that they're just _fucking_ around whoever it is-"

Kanda scoffed and grabbed a fistful of his cherry red hair. Lavi gasped suddenly when the pony tailed man pulled his head back harshly to look at the floor numbers above them. "You call this _fucking_ around?" Kanda hissed as they watched the numerous floor numbers light up randomly.

"No," Lavi whispered wide eyed. "I call this the _poltergeist_." Kanda released his tight grip on the red head's hair. Lavi hissed slightly at the rough release, and the long haired jeered at his childish whining.

"You're so _rough_ , _**geez**_ -!"

Kanda stayed silent at that one. Not that he didn't care and wasn't seconds away from dicing the shameless pervert-oh _actually_ , he couldn't give two shits about him. But, anyway, that wasn't what concerned him right now.

-What caught his attention was the static from the speaker beside the floor numbers that was seemingly getting louder and louder with every approaching second. Kanda's dark eyes narrowed into slits as he scrutinized the small device.

Lavi, who was getting curious with the sudden silence, peeked over the man's shoulder, and followed his gaze.

"Hey, what are you-"

" _Quiet_." Kanda hissed curtly and Lavi miraculously decided by the dark tint in his eyes, that he wouldn't try to annoy him this time. If looks could kill, Kanda's glare probably had the power to send them both off to the other world.

 _There's something about that damn speaker..._

Frustrated, Lavi lightly touched his shoulder in defeat. "Yuu, can we just call for help? There should be an emergency button around here..." He suggested, forest green eyes searching desperately.

Kanda's nose flared at the name, and he glowered at the man. "Look, you rabbit looking buffoon, call me that one more time, and I swear whatever balls that you have will be cleanly removed-"

"That's _cold_! You can't _do_ that, Yuu!"

"Oh, we'll find out soon enough-" Kanda muttered through his gritted teeth as he unsheathed mugen. Just as he was about to flip the sword and attack the defenseless man with mugen's sharp edge, a calm yet malicious voice broke through the static of the speakers.

"Oh my. What lovely gentlemen I've received this time."

Kanda stopped his attack midway, holding mugen's blade up against a certain red head's pale neck, in irritation. Lavi, on the other hand, had his hands tightly grasping the blade, his face twisted in pain and surprise.

Both of their eyes could only narrow as the malicious voice spoke it's next words.

"How about we kick off this eventful evening, with a game?"

* * *

 **A/N: Getting to the good part, yes! Who is this mysterious malicious ring leader? Will Kanda finally get to his interview with 0 body counts? Will Lavi finally win Kanda's attention? Will Lenalee tell Komui that Kanda took her to a strip club? Will Allen and Lenalee ever make an appearance?**

 **Find out-**

 **Next time-**

 **On Two Guys One Elevator.**

 **Oh, and please review. It'll make updates faster, knowing people are interested.**

 **Thanks to Ashe Ichijou: Thanks for being the first review! I try to stay in character as much as possible; the characters in DGM are so freaking beautifully crafted, I wouldn't dream of soiling them. I love them too much :)**

 **Until next time!**


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